AXE THE QUESTION

All last week The Scotsman ran ‘The 20 Greatest Scottish Movie Moments’, chosen by various film pundits, including the critic Alistair Harkness, he being no stranger to my stats.

thescotsman.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=445412007

And the movie moment that topped the list? The red telephone box ringing at the end of Bill Forsyth’s Local Hero, a film made nearly 25 years ago.

I might as well pack up now.

Where was Breaking the Waves, I wonder? Or The Maggie? Or Michael Powell’s I Know Where I’m Going or The Edge of the World? Or Stephen McCole’s infamous ‘Bawbag’ line out of Rushmore? Or even Shrek for that matter – since the inclusion of ‘I Married an Axe Murderer’ in the list is pushing it a bit.

If nothing else, the list just shows up the poverty-stricken list of films the panel had to choose from – over a century’s worth. Which only leads you to think – where do Scottish filmmakers end up? They sure ain’t getting any work here. I’ve heard of only one film being shot in Scotland this year so far and even that’s not home-grown.

Is there an answer? Well, not as long as politicians and agencies keep believing we’re incapable of turning out a decent movie, which presumably is why they’d rather put the welcome mat out for Hollywood than the red carpet for their own filmmakers.

Maybe it’s time to cuddle up to Stewart Maxwell, the SNP Shadow Culture Minister and try to persuade him that a few tax breaks are what’s needed to bring us in line with the Irish system. And bury the Culture Bill while he’s at it – the last thing filmmakers need is even more committee-sitters coining it while our screens are blank.