YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED

Uh-oh, watch out. Another ‘artist makes film’ alert.

In one of the weirdest puff pieces I’ve read lately, Scotland on Sunday reports that painter, Adrian Wiszniewski, is ‘in talks’ with ‘top Hollywood director’, Baz Luhrmann, about a screenplay he’s written, based on a book he’s yet to write, based on a story he made up for his kid. According to SoS, one-time boss of Scottish Screen, John Archer, told Wiszniewski to ‘go to the BFI’, who told him he’d be better off directing the ‘£30 million blockbuster’ himself. So he took the script to his pal, composer Craig Armstrong, who passed it on to Luhrmann.

What’s intriguing about this one is the way the journalist shows no curiosity but a whole load of ignorance about how the film biz works. For instance – why did Wiszniewski decide that a bedtime story for his kid would make a great script? Like, has he ever written a script? Is he qualified to write a script? Or like his fellow artist, Douglas Gordon, does filmmaking come easily to these arty types? At least Wiszniewski’s not ripping off famous filmmakers and slapping his own logo on it.

All the same, why did John Archer tell him to go to the BFI? Sounds like a brush-off to me. Did the BFI not give up producing films donkey’s years ago? And who decided this ‘script’ - and the ‘blockbuster’ it’s going to be – will cost £30 million?

I’m not blaming Wiszniewski here – he’s only doing what artists do - playing the game, getting your mugshot in the papers. But the way these things get reported is shameful because the average punter must be left thinking - ‘£30 million? Filmmaking’s a total mug’s game’. Which is a bigger fiction than Ade's bedtime story... good luck to the guy.

scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/review.cfm?id=261382007