A JOLLY GOOD FELLATIO

With Valentine’s Day round the corner, I’m wondering – where have all the great date movies gone? There’s a gaping hole in the market. And please don’t mention Music and Lyrics because I still can’t decide what’s worse about Hugh Grant – that he shagged Liz Hurley or got caught with Divine Brown. Or, for that matter, his acting...

A glance at the Cineworld site suggests what we need right now are love stories – rom coms, sex comedies, good old weepies. For instance, why hasn’t there been a remake of Love Story? You’d think some Hollywood exec would have seen the sense of casting an Anne Hathaway or a Tobey Maguire or some other starry pairing in a tragic retelling of this ‘timeless classic’ (according to IMDB, that is)

Looking down the list of what’s on offer, you’d be hard pressed to find a decent back seat movie. I mean, Goal 2? Hannibal Rising? Blood Diamond? The best on offer is probably Dreamgirls, if you can get past the cast suddenly bursting into song every five minutes and the anorexic plot. The rest – Rocky Balboa, Smokin’ Aces and Epic Movie - are either a bit too mucho macho or just plain dumb.

Faring better is the Glasgow Film Theatre, by showing a new print of The African Queen. You can’t beat old school romance. The GFT also deserves a big big-up for the Glasgow Film Festival which, judging by the programme, is shaping up to be a serious contender to Edinburgh. Check it out -

www.glasgowfilmfestival.org.uk

Me, I’m already booking my tickets.