NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

Thanks to the reader who sent me this –

www.theherald.co.uk/features/76906.html

Déjà vu or what? Phil Miller’s piece in the Herald echoes pretty much all the stuff I’ve been saying about the paralyzed state of Scottish film. I just hope he gets some feedback because if true to form, Scottish filmmakers will do their usual mute trick and say nothing. I suspect it’s not that filmmakers don’t care, more to do with not wanting to upset their public paymasters for fear of having their applications for funding ‘mislaid’. Not that you need to criticise the funders for that to happen.

Miller makes the comparison with Scotland’s five big cultural companies – two orchestras, a ballet, an opera and a theatre. But what he doesn’t say is that unlike, say, the National Theatre of Scotland, with its annual budget of double what Scottish Screen gets, the NTS doesn’t have to sell out its performances in order to get the gig. The problem is SS doesn't make anything, yet under their guidelines, filmmakers must have a guaranteed outlet for their work in the shape of a distributor, crudely the equivalent of making a sell-out movie and having the winning numbers for the Lottery all in one go. What's more they do this on their own, because SS has no sway over the film industry, no route to cinemas and no dealmaking chops.

And unlike all the other big national companies, cinemas aren’t subsidised to the same level – certainly not the multiplexes. The arthouse venues are great, but there’s just too few of them to go round and even then the likes of the GFT has to screen movies just to get bums on seats and not for their own sake.

Just like filmmakers, journalists need to be wary of upsetting the great and the good, so Mr Miller was at pains not to wag the finger too hard at SS. But reading Ken Hay’s interview in today’s allmediascotland, you get the impression that rather than support film at a time when there’s virtually nothing being made, he’s already got his feet under the table at Creative Scotland. In fact, wasn’t it the Herald who mentioned something earlier this year about Hay seen to be vying for the top job at CS?

Elsewhere, in another of those fantastic non stories, the news section of the Herald includes a piece by Brian Pendreigh about a ‘film’ (like it’s been shot already) that ‘may’ get made, this time about a meeting between John Lennon and a minister from up north, which as film ideas go, sounds like a bit of non story itself. Oh, and like so many other films not being made, it won't star Robert Carlyle (above).

Not again, I’m thinking, another ‘film’ that won’t get made here, adding to a long list of films that will never get made in Scotland, like the much-talked about Paul Ferris story (not starring Robert Carlyle), The Benny Lynch Story (also not starring Robert Carlyle) The Sins and Confessions of a Justified Sinner, Sunset Song, Lanark and the one about the safecracker...

How sad can it get? Meanwhile, in a fanfare of confidence and optimism, the Irish Film Board has just announced their production list for next year - nine feature films. And just how many are being made in Scotland? If any of you dear readers know the answer, I’d love to hear from you…