CULTURE CLUB

What better time than the season of hibernation and office parties to announce the long awaited draft Culture Bill, you might ask? It may be less of a launch than a sneak out the back door, still I bet Patricia Ferguson’s keeping her fingers crossed that nobody will pay attention to the 65 page document, let alone comment on it.

I’m more intrigued by the organisations and companies listed at the back. Or rather, who’s not. At the centre of this cultural shake-up is the scrapping of Scottish Screen, the only agency in the country with a remit for things film, so it’s bound to have an impact on anybody involved in the business.

But can I find a single independent production company or filmmaker on the Executive’s distribution list? No, but every two-bit theatre and dance company in the country gets a namecheck, along with some of the nation’s more obscure arty outfits, such as the Wigtonshire Guild of Spinners, Dyers and Weavers or the International Feltmakers Association. And a load of charities.

This speaks volumes about the status of film. First, because it shows the apathy of Scotland’s filmmakers who, with some justification (and day jobs) don’t give a shit about Creative Scotland. Why should we? We’ve already got an agency that makes our lives miserable by raising the bar impossibly high for would-be applicants. We don’t need another, bigger, more expensive one.

Most production companies limp along from one low budget TV gig to the next, scratching the odd bit of funding wherever they can. The rest keep up the pretence of being in the film business, when all they’ve got is a camcorder and a few mates to indulge their hobby. Unlike their theatrical counterparts, who are experts at shaking down the Scottish Arts Council, filmmakers are more likely to get a knockback – and that’s after a load of work, such as writing the script and bringing in the biggest chunk of the budget before they're even allowed near an application form.

Second, having ignored filmmakers and keeping them out of the loop, Scottish Screen’s website now has boss, Ken Hay, begging for responses to the draft bill.

“We would encourage everyone who cares about the future of the screen and creative industries in Scotland to read and respond to this consultation document. This is our opportunity to place film and the wider screen industries at the heart of the creative life of Scotland.”

Yeah, we’ll get right on it, Ken. It’s not like all us unemployed filmmakers have anything better to do. But it might help if politicians could meet us halfway. If they really want us to help them to ‘inform the development of a particular policy’, then the least they can do is a bit of homework to find out why there’s virtually no films getting made in this country. Besides, the terms of the so-called consultation have no relevance for anybody working in film or telly, and like the failed Cultural Commission a couple of years back, I doubt they’ll get much of a response.

After the hoo-ha over the Scottish Film Lobby earlier this year, now strangely off the political menu, it’s business as usual at Holyrood, where MSPs and public servants barely know how to work a DVD player, never mind get to grips with the film industry. You only have to look at the new UK tax legislation for film to know how the Treasury’s managed to fuck it up, so what chance of the Executive understanding the business?

Yet politicians are quick off the mark to claim credit any time a Scottish film breaks out and wins a prize somewhere, just like they love to line up with what passes for celebrity here, riding the talent by using them to sell Scotland as some kind of cultural oasis, as Ms Ferguson did recently with her famous list of 'successes'. Some of us remember Frank McAveety hobnobbing at the Cannes Film Festival a couple of years back.

Oh, and isn’t there the small problem of an election next year? With any luck, Creative Scotland will go the way of the last four culture ministers, presumably out the back door.