KENNOMEAT PIECES

Straight after my last blog, guess what? Scottish Screen has finally put up a new website. And a sorry thing it is to behold too. Gone is the naff wee dug - no loss there. But also gone is the idea that film and TV makers have anybody looking out for their interests.

One of the reasons I put myself through a media course was because I believe, in a delusional way, that film and TV is an exciting, dynamic, creative, thrilling, rewarding area to be involved in.

Here's an extract from the new SS site. And I'm not making this up.

"Priority Objectives. Scottish Screen has identified the following six priority objective areas. They are interrelated and mutually supportive and strengthening. They provide an integrated development strategy that embraces and clearly demonstrates the links, relationships and opportunities across these..."

Enough! Ken Hay, why bother with a gun when you can bore us to death? Or into submission at least. Make what you will of this:

"The nurturing and support of talent and creativity applies not just to production and not just to film and television, and should be seen across a range of formats and platforms."

Which is longhand for - eff off, filmmakers, hello virals.

This site is more fitting to, say, the planning department of a local council. It's an utter disgrace and a total disincentive to anyone thinking about a career in the screen industries. Reading between the lines, what Scottish Screen's actually doing is - as I predict - cosying up to the Scottish Executive before Creative Scotland kicks in.

And no sign of a forum either. Which makes me think not only don't they know who they're representing but worse, they're representing themselves to keep a few pen-pushers employed, self-preservation being the name of the game. Two thumbs down, guys.

I wonder if they had a party to launch this mingy site? If they did, I bet it was warm half-pints of shandy and Kennomeat pieces all round. Man, I definitely need that bar of chocolate now.