CREATING A STUSHIE

It sure takes a lot be creative in Scotland.

The same three adjectives that sum up the average Weegie male - hard, tight and short - could equally apply to the inspiration, time and money needed to ply your arty wares. So it's a slap in the face for filmmakers to find themselves excluded yet again by the Scottish Arts Council as they announce their sixth annual Creative Scotland Awards.

The SAC claims the award is to reward, honour and celebrate established artistic talents. But not if you're a filmmaker (same goes for architects and designers). In other words don't bother applying. Which poses the question - in what way are filmmakers not creative? And how come a novelist, a bagpiper or a dancer (does lap dancing qualify, I wonder?) can make movies with the 30K freebies on offer? Is the SAC still miffed that Scottish Screen made off with the Lottery Production Fund a few years ago?

Ironically, filmmaking's probably the most creative endeavour out there. It involves writing, drama, photography, music, design and craft, be it from actors or joiners. It's also a lot more collaborative than playing the fucking harp in a draughty hall in Inverness.

When it comes to handouts some might argue that film's already well catered for, but it's only a fraction of what opera currently gets, or the latest venture, the National Theatre of Scotland - where already there's been a bit of growling in lovieland because you can't buy a ciabatta in scummy Easterhouse, but that's another story. Film also gets a lot less subsidy than empty art spaces such as Glasgow's CCA and Tramway.

So what's the answer?

Maybe if Scottish Screen stopped slushing TV companies out of their meagre pot they could see their way to rewarding some of us hard-working self-starters - people who actually make films. Because where would they be if we all decided to jack it in to become stained glass artists?