HERE'S TO THE SPORTING LADIES

A little off-topic, big deal. It's a little-known fact, but back in 1982 Edinburgh was the first city in the UK to legalise prostitution, which just goes to show how the Athens of the North is a product of the Enlightenment.

The oldest profession has always enjoyed a brisk trade in these parts, no doubt on account of the numbers of judges, bankers and minor aristos. Recently, and since the Scottish Executive moved in, things are on the up again (pun intended). But rather than improve the working conditions of sex workers through licensed saunas, the girls live with threats of closures and the withdrawal (okay, already!) of so-called tolerance zones. Two weeks ago, girls working in Leith received letters - Dear Madam - I kid not - warning them that anti-social behaviour orders will be issued if they don't get their booty off residential streets.

So that's okay then. A girl can ply her wares in dark, deserted industrial zones and put herself at even more risk, so that the good folks of Edinburgh can avoid temptation and stop twitching the net curtains. Which puts this otherwise fine city back in the dark ages, causing no end of inconvenience to those upstanding members of the legal and financial professions.