TALES FROM THE ZONE - PART TWO

Glasgow is the UK's most surveillance-happy city. Nowhere is this more evident than on the streets of the council-endorsed red light zone which during the day doubles as the city's financial district, starting somewhere around Argyle Street west of Central Station and ending at Bothwell Street, where a casual stroll reveals more cameras than Jessop's window.


That's a lot of wide shots. But guys, where's the money shot? This thing just won't cut together.

Here's my suggestion. Reality CCTV! We've already had Big Brother, so why not Little Sister? The everyday story of girls and their johns getting it on. Give the lassies a makeover, a decent wage and profit participation in exchange for their time and talent. Give them a costume budget and sponsorship from New Look and Barry M. The cameras are rolling anyway, so the set-up costs are zilch. You could even provide a shagging cabin with hidden cams - cosier than a cold lane and more spacious than a N reggie Nissan.

You could set up a premium rate number too, so viewers can vote off their least fave hooker. And for that extra frisson, how about a sin bin? Put a couple of cops/bouncers out there to collar the most skanky punters, then line them up for a choice of punishment voted by you, the audience. I haven't even started in on the sleb version - you could invite all the previous BB winners - like cute Anthony (pictured) - he's gonna need the work. So press that red button now.

And with all that cash rolling in what's the worst that can happen? A rebate on the Council Tax?