TOP TEN RESOLUTIONS

And a Happy New Year to you too.

Mine came while stood on a rooftop with a tumbler of sherry and a bit of bun, feeling like Mrs Nero while Auld Reekie went up in smoke after the fireworks.

So while I'm still in the mood, here's my top ten resolutions for 2006.

Take up smoking. Scotland bans the evil weed in March.
Never eat anything bigger than my head.
Stop moaning about the film business.
Have more sex - a great excuse to smoke.
Remember that chocolate is a drug. Just say no.
A girl can never be too blonde.
Lose Harvey Nicks' address.
Remember that until it's sold, it's a first draft.
Don't get an agent. Life's tragic enough.
Keep smiling - the whole point of teeth whitening.

And not that long till the Year of the Dog. I mean to say...