CARRY ON COMMISSIONING

Boring, boring, boring, I know, but somebody has to keep an eye on the buggers.

Seems that the Cultural Commission's recommendations have been panned by the latest in a long line of Scottish Culture Ministers, Patricia Ferguson.

Sounds like a good call, missus - after all, what's half a million down the pan, not to mention the jobs dished out to pals without advertising? Plus the fact that there were no practising artists on the committee anyway. And for what? A manifesto calling for more admin (self-preservation being the name of the game) and a load of tosh about giving the population cultural rights - yeah right, like I need anybody's permission to watch telly?

The main recommendation of the Commission - to spawn a monster called Culture Scotland - didn't come out of nowhere. I guess the conspiracy merchants would have us believe it's a done deal because somebody thinks it's a good idea. And judging by the dismal track record of past Culture Ministers, Ms Ferguson will be out the door soon enough, so it may well happen.

Sadly one of the Commission's better ideas - scrapping Scottish Screen - now looks unlikely. Not that anyone would notice - SS's website's been down for a week and they don't return your calls at the best of times. In other words - about as visible as a fart in a snowstorm.

Those who do the creating - artists, filmmakers, writers, musos - will carry on working for free (or subbed by the buroo and Mac jobs) so that a bunch of self-appointed bean counters can award themselves fat wages. At least the creatives can take some consolation from knowing their work is more rewarding and a lot more fun than committee-sitting.