HASTE YE BACKERS

Scotland, as we all know, is rich in landscape: mountain ranges, dark, lovely lochs, unspoilt coastline and vibrant cities with a grand architectural heritage. Who wouldn’t want to come here? Even better if you can get your host to foot the bill.

Well, not Hollywood, according to an item in the Scotsman, reporting on a recce by the great and good of Tinseltown to these shores. Scottish Screen, touting for business, recently ‘organised’ a trip by a bunch of LA producers, starting at Prestonfields Hotel, Edinburgh, a place so swanky it doesn’t bother to publish the room rate on its website. A helicopter ride later, the producers gave it the thumbs up but stopped short of committing to filming due to the weather and the dire lack of studio facilities. Of course, anybody from the States with a likely-looking business card could pull that stunt. I’m just surprised more of them don’t.

I could complain about Hollywood being treated like royalty while our own filmmakers are scratching a living, but that would be too obvious. No, what I take issue with here is how ignorant and lazy journalism asserts that these visitors, quote -

‘…felt the UK and Scottish film industries were making efforts to make production more financially rewarding with tax incentives, and the production talents north of the border were exemplary’.

Plainly this is rubbish. To talk about a UK or Scottish film industry is fantasy when what you’re really talking about is government subsidy to a set of agencies whose job is to oversee what happens to drop on their desks, be it a spec script, a submission for some gladiatorial ‘initiative’ they’ve cooked up or, more likely, to subsidise the BBC or Channel 4.

As for making production more lucrative through tax breaks – well, the industry’s hardly in a position to do that, not with the current exchange rate and especially since Mr Brown decided to clamp down on dodgy funds pretending to be movie moguls. Why do you think so many American producers are so fond of Ireland? Besides, your average UK production company can’t pay itself a regular wage let alone provide incentives for US studios.

And so what if production talent north of the border is ‘exemplary’? They’re hardly likely to get too high up the food chain if Hollywood rolls into town. The best freelancers here can hope for is a location manager gig maybe, so they can kill themselves on 18 hour days or a sub-minimum wage runner/driver job, ferrying the above-the-line from their five star hotel to some freezing castle somewhere and be expected to be thankful for the privilege.

The main getout here – as ever – is the lack of studio facilities in Scotland. For years now there’s been countless attempts to get one built, usually on the back of a land grab for a golf course with hotel and retail complex, such as Sean Connery’s doomed scheme. Every time it’s died for lack of investment and political will. If the Americans are so keen on coming to Scotland then why can’t Donald Trump stump up? A large shed wouldn’t make much of a dent in the billion dollars he’s planning to spend here on 18 holes. Well, it's one way to attract the A-listers...

thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1636432007